Two kids now, and both doing things that I find interesting and worth writing about.
Oliver At Three-And-A-Half
A New Room
He gets out of bed tonight and walks over to the top of the stairs. “Dah-ee!” (He generally skips the second d in daddy, which I’m fond of.) Although I’m not thrilled he’s out of bed, he’s been good lately, and the fact he calls for me by name is great, because what he used to do drove us nuts.
What he used to do was arrive at the top of the stairs and make a sort of grunting noise similar to the noise that jerks make when they are mocking the mentally disabled. He would start quietly and then escalate if we ignored it.
“Uhhh. Uhhhhhhhh. UhhhhHHHHHHH. UhhhhhHHHHHH. UHHHHHHNNNNNNHHHHHH!”
“I have to go pee.”
He’s past this phase, which helps with parental response time. I ask him what the issue is, and as usual, it’s urination. But in the bathroom, I notice that he’s damp all over. His hair is plastered to his head. His face is flushed. I ask him why he’s all wet.
“Because my room is jiggling [his window rattles when the wind blows hard]. It was bothering me. So I got all of the way underneath my blankets. But my room was still jiggling. My room is too old. I need a new room.”
I’ve been off work due to the Christmas holidays for over a week. Oliver and I were hanging out after I was off for a few days, and he said, out of the blue: “I’m very upset with you, daddy, because you go to work every day to make lots of bacon and you are there for a very long time.”
Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes
You’ll really only understand this anecdote if you’ve read the Robert Munsch story Angela’s Airplane, about a child who absconds with an airplane because she cannot resist pressing buttons.
Oliver’s favourite stuffed animal is this truly massive (it’s bigger than him) blue teddy bear that my buddy Wayne bought for him when he was first born. Oliver got me out of bed one night to examine an urgent issue with the bear, namely that he had extracted a large amount of stuffing from the bear by pulling it out of a hole in that had formed in its arm.
“Oliver, why are you picking out the stuffing?” I asked.
“Well,” he replied, “I was laying in bed and I asked myself, should I pick the stuffing out of the bear? Is that a good idea? And I said, ‘yes, yes, yes, yes, yes’. So I picked it.”
Sloane At Ten Months
She’s recently learned how to “crawl”, except that she can only go backwards, by pushing the floor in front of her with her hands. Because of this she often seems confused about where she ends up, since she can’t see where she is going.
She never fails to return a smile, and when she does, it’s amazing.
I feel guilty that this portion of my post is so much shorter than the portion devoted to Oliver, but she’s still a baby, doing baby things, and I don’t want to bore you. Besides, a picture is worth a thousand words: