Man, a couple good laughs in that one. But yes, not even for those who are reasonably offended, let alone easily offended.

BTW, here’s an absolutely hilarious take on the issue (warning: link not for the easily offended).

Here’s a sample:

What exactly do you think Yule is? It’s the #&!*ing Pagan celebration of solstice. And those “Christmas” traditions? They’re not just like Pagan rituals, they #&!*ing are Pagan rituals. Way before your Jesus got all magical with the bread and fishes, the Romans were celebrating the birth of Mithra on . . . guess? Go on – guess. December #&!*ing twenty fifth. What a weird coincidence. Practically the whole thing is ripped off from the #&!*ing Druids and the Romans. Twelve days? Check. Exchanging gifts? Check. Mistletoe? Check. And you’d better #&!*ing believe that those decorated trees that Gibson and Co. are so bent out of shape over are as Pagan as the Rune and Crystal Shack at Pentagramfest 2005. You might as well be building miniature #&!*ing Stonehenges in your den.

Joyous Happy Merrydays, Everybody!

You’ve got one of those chopped-down trees, mate. Bloody consumer.

Yeah, but I didn’t cut it down. The damage was already done. ;)

Actually, the tree was not my idea, although I bear full responsibility for buying it and partial responsibility for sweeping up all the needles.

But you can’t claim I’m being hypocritical – I pointed out the consumption but I never said I wasn’t part of it – in fact I said the opposite.

For some, Christmas is still a time of religious introspection. I don’t know many of these people, but I hear that they go to church. I celebrate a secular Christmas – call it a contradiction if you like – I don’t really give a shit what anyone calls it. I try and reaffirm my bond with friends and family during this time of year. I think about them a little more. I shower some of them with gifts, others just get a phone call. I have no desire to send cards. Truth be told, the christmas card seems to me to be the most hollow of this season’s sentiments. It says: “I was thinking of you, and fourty other people I know, so I bought you all the same card – one with a bland message I was too uninspired to concoct myself – and I sent them to you all, signed by myself, my partner, and our cat. It was easier than calling you, because I really wouldn’t know what to say to you anyways.” Thanks.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not completely cynical when it comes to Christmas. I like giving gifts. I like being on holiday. I like winter cooking. It can be a calm and comforting couple of days. But it comes with a cost. That cost is often expressed in dollars and stress. People go a little wonky at Christmas, probably because the whole affair has become too complicated. The tree, the lights, the gifts, the cards, the dinners, the decorations, the stockings, the candy, the songs, the television shows, the cocktail parties, the wreaths, the snacks for Santa. Somewhere along the line, Christmas became about so many things that the core messages were diluted beyond recognition. It became a commercial cash-cow, and we all missed it. Now, many people accept, if not expect, all of the afformentioned yuletide accoutrements. Christmas has genuinely become too complicated for anyone to celebrate in earnest. Instead, it is a three-day-long Western tragi-comedy, well-represented by the best of intentions and the worst of outcomes. Think Clarke Griswold.

If you’re cycnical this Christmas then smile, because you are experiencing the most genuine holiday emotion there is left.