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Unqualified Enthusiasm

This was sent to me by a friend who works at an advertising agency. They have a job opening in their research department, and they received this email cover letter along with a resume from someone applying for the job (I have removed the names and email addresses of the people involved, everything else is word for word):

RE: Media Buyer Postion

Good Morning,

I’ve recently applied for the Junior Media Buyer/Researcher posted, and I feel it is a great opportunity for me to be employed. Reading the job description, it became very clear to me that this was something I could do. And do well. I hope we can set up and interview because it’s in the interview where I tend to shine.

So my aim is to impress your socks off, unless you don’t ware socks, then I hope to impress your shoes off. To be realistic, I don’t feel I am very qualified for this position. I understand a person with 2.5 years of sports management isn’t exactly what you’re looking for, but I believe I have what it takes to be your media buyer.

I think the only qualification I have that really applies for this position is my extencive CD collection. This shows I can research and purchase media, and media related products. Media is something I have a strong passion for. Music, movies and television are large parts of my life, as well as magazines, and newspapers. It’s with that knowledge that I can certainly apply to becoming your next media buyer. I’m sure working for a “busy downtown” office would require a lot of lifting, and moving of purchased media, which I’m ok with as well.

I’m able to use a computer (sending this email is proof) and I work well with others. Another one of the benefits I bring to the table is I never have a problem with customer service. I have returned many items with no to little questions asked. I must have one of those faces people trust. I don’t cook, so most of the meals I eat are cold, and raw – so sushi is cool too.

I hope I have gone above and beyond any expectations you may have had, and proven without a doubt that I can do this job. And as for my love for dogs, pictures of some of my ex-girl friends will be available upon request.

Thanks a lot,
[removed]

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106 Responses to “Unqualified Enthusiasm”

  1. that last paragraph doesn’t even make sense heh


  2. oh I get it, wow…just wow


  3. Genius. Did he get the job?? :)


  4. Reminds me of a resume I saw once that had: “Wife is a member of Mensa.” under accomplishments.


  5. What on earth does culinary retardation have to do with the job? This is one of those Lewis Black comments where it *goes in your ear*. Finally, your head explodes from trying to work out what the dumbass meant!


  6. What on earth did the ad say?

  7. Cori:

    Is this guy insane? Reading this makes me feel brilliant! i would have called him in for an interview just to out a face with the letter.


  8. Wait just a minute… 2.5 years of sports management, applying for a job he’s utterly unqualified for… this is from George W. Bush!

  9. wemi:

    i think it’s great!

  10. Michelle:

    WOW !!! This guy has a lot of confidence in himself – or he is just really that stupid and out of touch with reality !!!

  11. Kinh:

    This guy need to learn how to proof read and not depend on spell checks.

  12. RT:

    You would expect more from the Mayor of Detroit

  13. Russell:

    The spelling mistakes killed it for me but the content is not so bad at making this cover letter stand out of a stack of MS Office standard form letters. How old is this guy?

  14. Frantic:

    Funny that so many people posting here take this seriously, desperately trying to place themselves above the witty author who has utter contempt for the cubicle zombie world :-)

  15. michelle:

    shoot, I’d hire this guy.

    Maybe not for a media buying/planning position (he clearly has little grasp on the advertising world) but remember how in the oldentimes, they had court jesters?

    Ad agencies could use those too. When the art director needs a muse, he can just call for the jester and in pops this guy, full of random facts and misspelled words.

    I love it.


  16. He should become a journalist :)…

  17. Anonymous:

    I actually think the content of the letter is far better than 90% of the tripe people submit. The problem is the splling errs.


  18. This guy has to be some sort of genius, or just a complete moron.

    Though one thing is for sure; this would have made for one hell of an interesting interview. : )


  19. Well, well, well – given the average amount of buzzwording & bullshitting going on when dealing with the qualified lot, does anybody know how to reach that guy? Hey, with that surrealistic sense of whatsoever you’d be my premier choice as an art director. That’s probably the way John Cleese would apply for a job with an ad agency…


  20. That’s just incredible, where did you find that?

  21. ben:

    what a genis! i hope he got the job!
    such a creative individual … lol

    SOO CLEAVER: “So my aim is to impress your socks off, unless you don’t ware socks, then I hope to impress your shoes off”

    wow… just impressive. lol


  22. That is gorgeous!

    Reminds me of a friends job application back in New Zealand. In order to stay on the unemployment benefit, one had to show proof of actively seeking work. So he sent off an application for a harbour pilots job – stating that while he didn’t have a pilots license, he was willing to learn to fly. He didn’t get the job, but at least he kept his benefit.


  23. I’m most impressed by his spelling. Especially in a field that (at the very least) brushes the periphery of communications, why would he need to bother knowing to spell words like “extensive” or “WEAR,” or maybe even JUST USE SPELL CHECK? (Maybe his claim about being able to use a computer was a stretch, too.)

    Incredible.

  24. aju:

    This had to be a joke, or an example of the New Zealand unemployment scam.

  25. annekat:

    This has a really strong feeling of being a joke — like the guy had a friend who secretly replaced his ACTUAL cover letter with a fake, to make him completely unhirable.

    Some young kids are eejits like that.

  26. Gabe:

    Well spellcheck wouldn’t catch ‘ware’, but anyway, I’m surprised more people don’t see this for the obvious troll that it is.

  27. nancy:

    COOL……..THATS IT!!!

  28. LOL:

    It is SO Kwame Kilpatricks resume! He’s such a joke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  29. Dan:

    the sad thing is… i’ve seen much, much worse.


  30. Quite possibly one of the worst cover letters ever created in pursuit of a job…

    Quite possibly one of the worst cover letters ever created in pursuit of a job posted at IndianPad.com…


  31. I like it. You know why? Its different.Were it for any place besides an ad agency, it wouldn’t work. They thrive on finding the person who thinks outside of the box. All the people who say the same thing “I want a postition where I can use my skills to meet the needs of the company. Blah blah blah,” won’t be remembered. This guy’s resume will stand out.

    That said. Spelling errors are still bad, along with lack of grammer skills.

  32. Lewis:

    You know, it takes a great deal of effort and no little intelligence to achieve that level of dumbness.

  33. Marvin:

    This is most likely some troll pretending to be a crazy idiot, and it’s not really that funny. I don’t see what makes it the work of a “genius” or why anyone would want to hire a person like this. If it’s real, the guy is a total moron, and if it’s a joke, it’s just lame and not the least bit clever.


  34. What a hoot! But, it’s probably fake. Everyone has spel chekers!

  35. Chris:

    Yeah, there’s one resume that won’t be forgotten.

  36. Ashleypie:

    HAHAHA! Wow, this guy is something else. You know what, I like this, it’s so much better than the, pat me on the back long list of things that apply to this position. I wish this guy would create ads and commercials, think of how many more things you’d sell if someone like this guy was making up your commercials! No one would change the channel and then they’d watch it again and again trying to figure it out! Is it stupidity or a superior intelligence? I say it’s a little of both.

  37. Deb:

    Laugh! I thought I’d die! And the responses were almost as funny. Michelle – I particularly loved yours……

    and Psymeg – You may be too young to remember, but your story about your friend reminded me of an old British cartoon character named Andy Capp. He was unemployed and on the dole, and wished to stay that way – so he put his skill down as “treacle bender”. Oddly enough, he never employment either.

    I read this and was convinced this guy was a complete idiot until I started reading other responses suggesting he was really poking fun……now I wonder if I’M the idiot? Do y’all think he was really serious or joking?

    Deb

  38. Jiminy:

    I’m with Frantic … and Deb! Oh and Ashleyepie too … sort of

  39. Googla:

    Heeheehee … this is clearly a fellow who was told by Social Security to apply for X number of jobs per week in order to qualify for continued unemployment benefits.

    He had to make absolutely sure that there was no way on earth that the organisation would not call him for an interview (thus wasting both parties’ time). Just as well Michelle isn’t the boss … he’d be mortified to think that he’d actually have to attend an interview!

    The final line was the clincher – lol

    My favourite was his comment about impressing their shoes off if they don’t “ware” [sic] socks – Bravo! *clap clap*

  40. Sen. Santorum:

    Actually, my office recommended him for a position in Washington, and he eventually was given a position in the Iraqi provisional government in charge od water distribution. We hear he’s doing a heck of a job.


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